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[unrepentant]

@ skywalker

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[onlyhope]

[ The scant distance between them means Obi-Wan is looking at the dark, sweat damp curls of his hair on the back of his neck. The hint of his cheekbones in profile, long lashes cast low and hiding his eyes in the shadows of night despite the starlight above.

Watching him, he can't tell Anakin the truth: that the Dark Side has taken him, twisted him, had him do things he never could have dreamed about. Maybe because Obi-Wan isn't ready to face it himself. His intention on walking Anakin out here was to clear the boy's head; to give him some space from the nightmare of losing his lover. But Anakin's grief is so much bigger than that. Anakin's broad shoulders are heavy under the weight of his suffering, and Obi-Wan is helpless to do anything about it. His voice is quiet with the weight of confession. ]

I have failed you, Anakin. And I am... afraid.

[ How often has he admitted to a feeling like this outloud? He has always tried his best to be the stoic, still anchor for Anakin's maelstrom to whip around. Maybe that, too, is his failure. Maybe Anakin would have said something more, if Obi-Wan had showed him better his emotions were not wrong — just big. Bigger than most. ]

I am afraid that you have died as a result.

[unrepentant]

[He could almost see it- the grief that Obi-Wan wears like a shroud these days. It isn't so vivid and strong to be seen by any onlooker, but Anakin has been looking at him for nearly all of his life so far. He's shared the other side of their bond and known him across lightyears. Anakin can see it.

Obi-Wan's voice is quieter than he's ever heard it, and the answer is just so- simple. Anakin turns to look at him, heart wrenched with empathy because it's a fear he knows too. A blow that landed the moment Ahsoka was arrested and that has been bleeding ever since.] Oh Master. [The words are quiet in their forgiveness. Backlit by stars, Anakin closes the distance between them. His shoulders slope. It's this. Of course he could understand this.] Is that all?

[onlyhope]

[ Anakin comes close and Obi-Wan looks away. Not aversion, but some degree of embarrassment. He has known for a long time that Anakin wants something more — and once he had believed it was a stumbling block to Anakin becoming the Jedi Obi-Wan knew he could be. He's long since changed his mind about that. Anakin's capacity for love is what makes him such a great Jedi. He still does not think it's wrong, despite everything. Anakin would not be the first person to decide being a Jedi was not all that he wanted out of life, and the Jedi were no jailers. Padmé made him happy, and Anakin's happiness — he knows now — has always been important to him. More important than Qui-Gon's prophecy.

His old Master sits like a bruise in his heart, but it was nothing compared to Anakin. This attachment — and he knows that is what it is — is one he can no longer deny. We must destroy the Sith, Yoda had said. I cannot kill Anakin, he had answered and he knows if he follows Padmé to his former Padawan that nothing will change. Can he still call himself a Jedi when part of him is tangled so deeply in Anakin? Can he call himself anything, now that the Jedi are destroyed?

Obi-Wan looks down at Anakin's bare feet in the grass instead of at the empathy and understanding on his face. He doesn't need to look to know it's there — he can feel it ebb off him in waves, lapping against their unbroken bond. ]

If I had known sooner...

[ Maybe I could have protected you better. The sentiment trails off and he shakes his head, closes his eyes without looking up. ]