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[unrepentant]

@ skywalker

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[onlyhope]

[ The first bite floods his mouth, but once isn't enough, so he sucks. Obi-Wan has been drunk; has been high; poisoned; knocked around the head so hard that his concussion left him confused for days; felt that specific wooziness of too much bloodloss; and still nothing comes close. It isn't just predatory instinct, it isn't just slaking a thirst he hadn't realized was consuming him, but it's the rest of it:

Anakin's body warm and alive in his arms, the way each beat of his heart flushes blood into his mouth, the jolt when his pulse increases, the carefulness of his Force signature lining up with his own — impossibly loud, impossibly warm. A burning sun that has been in his life for fourteen long years. It drives home just how much he can't bear to lose him. A future without Anakin is a future not worth living; an un-Jedi-like thought that has existed in his bones and never been released from it's cage. Suddenly, Obi-Wan reels him in the last few inches, pushing his hand up into Anakin's long hair and leashing it into his knuckles. He bears down, flexing his jaw and burrowing against Anakin's throat, grasping at him hungrily with his body and with the Force. ]

[unrepentant]

[He doesn't really know what to expect. He's not unused to pain, so in the moment before those teeth sink into him Anakin is already preparing himself. There are plenty of examples to compare it to, and even though he's never been one to flinch, Anakin pays special attention to the grounding of his feet. The last thing he wants is to jolt and end up hurt; Obi-Wan would never forgive himself. Uncomfortable looking at his own reflection, Anakin's gaze lands on the wood panelling around it. Is it going to sting, or feel like it burns? Is it going to be like getting clipped by a 'saber, or catching a blaster bolt?

But it isn't like any of those things.
It's warm.

It's warm- and gentle, and slow. Like a kiss. Arms come up around him, holding him... differently than he's used to, but this touch to his neck, the way he feels it through his whole body? His body remembers the moments- Padmé braced over him, her hair a dark, beautiful curtain. The warmth in his face as he lifted his chin for her, breathless with happiness and desire. Her kiss against his throat, inside his pulse.

Anakin misses a breath and his hands move forward slowly, the gentle search for a different tether, a different nearness. His fingertips find Obi-Wan's waist as another pair slide through his hair and they finally slot together. Click into place.]

[onlyhope]

[ The touch to his waist brings him back into his body and out of drunken feeling. A majority of his time has been taken with the thought of how wrong things had gone between them, what he didn't see to miss things so important that the man he trusted implicitly had gotten lost so acutely. Loyalty has always been the most important thing to Anakin, Obi-Wan knows this. It's loyalty that has him here, trusting Obi-Wan with his literal life when neither of them understand the potential danger of this act. He had not asked any probing questions other than affirming what they were going to do.

He has always assumed that Anakin knew that those feelings were returned, but he wonders now — has he ever said it in a way Anakin understands? He had never told the boy he loved him until they were here, after fourteen years; he had assumed Anakin knew. But does he? Really?

Obi-Wan knows he is attached — though he had not realized quite how deeply — but he has never said as much. The Jedi Code forbids it and therefore doesn't come up in conversation, but saying it or ignoring it does not make it so. As his throat works and his tongue soothes the puncture wound he's feeding from, a sort of blank understanding settles over him. Like reaching the deepest point of meditation and finding that miraculous, hard to attain sense of peace. ]

[unrepentant]

[After that, time sort of gets strange at the edges. Anakin isn't thinking about how long they stand here or the gentle, warm pressure against his throat. He hears his own pulse in his ears, and now that they're closer he isn't sure if he's also hearing Obi-Wan's heartbeat, or if he's somehow feeling it even though his hands are settled near the man's waist. He doesn't sense any gradual changes, doesn't feel himself being steered or manipulated, but it's like his thoughts are slowing down. Not in a bad way, but enough that for the first time Anakin notices that the galaxy itself isn't screeching past him. It doesn't feel like he's trying to climb out of his skin.]

Obi-Wan?

[His voice is quiet so close to Obi-Wan's ear. Not meek, not timid, but pitched as if he's trying to wake him from a dream. Maybe wake them both. His trust in Obi-Wan is such that he makes no attempt to dislodge the teeth, he doesn't squeeze or tap to signal his urgency. He only says his friend's name and trusts that it'll reach him, that he'll withdraw before Anakin gets dizzy, and that he won't need to fight to be set free.]

[onlyhope]

[ Like a drop in a pool, that soft sound reverberates through him and drags him up from the deep well of instinct and languid ease. Obi-Wan? He would know that voice in his sleep. He would know it blind. He would know it deaf, permanently seared into his brain.

With great care, his jaw loosens and he unhooks his canines from Anakin's throat. The taste of him lingers in his mouth, rich and warm, and he laves his tongue over the wound. Equally to get the last of that flavor, but he can also feel the puncture coagulate under his attention. He somehow knows, with perfect confidence, that Anakin will not bleed out from it.

As he withdraws his hand slides from Anakin's curls and down his arm, the other smoothing along his waist. When he blinks back to himself, he sees the blooming bruise he's left behind. The puncture marks, the circle of his teeth where he had worried the blood to the surface. Obi-Wan knows he should be repulsed by what he has just done, putting Anakin in danger like that, and some great maw of guilt prepares itself to open up underneath him. But then he looks into Anakin's face, and is blown away all over again by the level of trust this boy has shown him.

So, in place of the apology that had been on the tip of his tongue, Obi-Wan holds Anakin's bicep and asks softly into the intimate space between them: ]

Are you alright? [ ... ] Did I hurt you?