unrepentant | ic contact.

[Anakin: Wow. I sure am glad no one's playing mind games with me to make me think he's a good guy.
The rest of the franchise: ????]

I JUST SAID I DIDN'T

it's cute that ur playin dumb with me, 'cause uh

[If Rex hadn't cemented earlier that he was a complete nuisance, well...

He scrolls upwards in their chain if messages and sends Anakin a screenshot. Look, the boy hacked his way into the Pentagon's security systems at fifteen, he can manage this. The douche sort of stopped trying after Robot wanted to take all the credit for being the smart one.]

u asked me what a keg stand was, so that can't be it
but as far as i can tell, the "last car" was either the sexy time car or big booby grab car and y'know what?
i should probably apologize, ahaha
since i was bein a teeeeeny tiny bit
redundant
with my wording, there, maestro

[THE WORST!!!! HE IS THE WORST!!!!!!]

so, who'd ya pork? oink oink lolol (🐷)
don't tell me it's the old man

[NOOOO!!!!!]

tho u do kinda strike me as someone who'd be ❤️‍🔥hot 4 teacher ❤️‍🔥
is that what he is 2 u?
i kno he's no spring 🐔
but he looks a lil 2 young 2 be ur real dad

[butt rex... he is anakin's real dad]

[The message that comes in takes Anakin on a journey. A face journey. A mental journey. Jedi don't discuss matters of love or sexuality because they're irrelevant- things that they aren't supposed to engage in and as a result, never come up. The clone army he's stationed with call each other 'brother' so there's no casual dialogue there either. The closest it'd come was seeing the pinups painted on Republic ships and the one that was absolutely of Padme.

He tries to follow the train of thought but spends at least half of that time recoiling to a mental chorus of no no no. And then embarrassment slides into sputtering indignation that someone could possibly impinge Obi-Wan's virtue. Of all people.]

I don't have a father
[Unfortunately, George Lucas decided virgin births would be cool in his space epic]

And I wouldn't tell you anyway
Maybe they don't want to remember.
[They]

Maybe they're embarrassed
Or maybe they regret it

yeah? well
i had two and they both got me fucked me up
trust me, ur not missing out on much

[This may, hilariously, seem like Rex had two shitty gay dads who were a couple... But he had two separate father figures in succession, unrelated. One biological and the other a mentor.]

bro did u nut on a pic of "their" dead grandpa or what
look, man, shit happens! sometimes people are too damn sexy for their own good, ok

[??????????]

just take it in ur weird space culty stride and uh
don't ruin any family photos next time

ic contact.

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will he be blown up by jedi mind tricks for this

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