ic contact.

[unrepentant]

@ skywalker

"Leave a message please."

✉️ ☎️ 📷

Comments

[himbomb]

good, fine, not dead yet

[On his side of the feed, he grows.]

hey

do you think this train is gonna have a sexy time car?

[rex]

or a keg stand car, or a big booby grab car

[REX!!!!!]

[unrepentant]

[Yeah that reply is pretty much exactly what he expected. Never let it be said Anakin, prince of deflection, doesn't know how to read a brush off.]

Pretty sure that's the car we were just in.

What's a keg stand?

[himbomb]

holy shit, you mean the phony LA knockoff?! oh-ho! yeah. because nothing screams ✨✨sexy time✨✨ like wealth disparity, not being able to remember your real name, and dissolved lip filler!!!

[He's just being contrarian to be contrarian. Rex loves LA, people wear so very few clothes there. At least, compared to folks Chicago.]

then again, there were a lot of titties on display so ig i can't really complain

a keg stand is a fun way 2 get sloshed real fast, that's all ya rly need 2 know

[unrepentant]

[Rex you're talking to the guy that got laid so much during that train car that he's having a nervous breakdown about it now.

...But he loves it when you talk about wealth disparity pls keep going /chinhands]

What if you had all those things but you just don't remember them because of the keg stands?

[himbomb]

the thing is

so, like, my body is VERY weird. it takes a shitton of alcohol to get me DRUNK drunk, cause i'm a lot heavier than i look. more dense on a molecular level than ur regular degular guy, yadda yadda

so it's really hard 2 get me trashed enough not 2 remember shit, and now i know WHY

[unrepentant]

Oh, really? Jedi have something like that too, we're hardier. But I can't say I've ever tried getting trashed. If I wanted to feel awful it'd be easier to just lose a fight don't you think?







How heavy are you?

[himbomb]

oh, come ON annie! are you even OK?

[He's using that moniker to insult the Jedi on purpose, unaware that it is a childhood nickname. Whoops. Mostly because when Rex sees that word, he hears the kazoo mp3 version of "The Sun Will Come Out," which then plays on loop in his head. also billie jean reference]

you know ya can't just go around askin people how much they weigh
it's not polite!!!
where are your manners at, huh?

[because that is exactly how a Mannered person would ask that question...]

if anybody wanted the answer to that dinky lil q they'd have to wine and dine me first
i may not be classy? but i LOVE flyin first class

[rex, where is your man, why are u like this, somebody come get him, he's dancing like a (shitt)er]

also so i can walk through the aisles and tip all those rich assholes' drinks over on my way 2 the can
you know! by "accident?" hehehe

[unrepentant]

It's Ani

And anyway, you opened this door. I'm just trying to figure out how far I could throw you.

[himbomb]

probably still pretty far

[He hates admitting it, but it's true. If he's remembering correctly, this guy is one of those space psychic fucks.]

you've got weird mind-bendy powers like the old beardy dude, right?
what do you guys call yourselves again? the jonas brothers? or was it judas fuck

[THEY ARE JEDI!!! REX]

[unrepentant]

Mind bendy powers have nothing to do with it I'm going to throw you with my arms.

[himbomb]

yeah! right.

[Rex has no reason to act this cocky. He is a mere two hundred and fifteen pounds, which, while heavy, is a much smaller weight class than the likes of Omni-Man or Black Samson. In a match of physical strength, he and Anakin would likely be at a stalemate. In describing himself, it is Rex who makes the mistake in identifying himself as "heavy," as it's not weight but density and all the other cybergenetic cheats that make him difficult to put down.

Even then, Rex was not designed to fight the likes of Omni-Man, for if he were, he'd be unstoppable. Why create the kind of soldier who couldn't be controlled? Rex Sloan, now Rex Splode, had been meant to be kept top secret, a tool for operations more covert than saving the world.

Unfortunately for them, they didn't factor in his piss-poor attitude, and it had ended his untimely escape regardless.]

i'd ask what your bench was, but then i remember ur from a different universe
they probably measure weight in farts or some other fuckass metric

[unrepentant]

Well measuring in farts wouldn't work because you're all hot air.

[himbomb]

some of me is titanium, actually, tyvm

[A very small percent! The alloys that make up the wiring in his forearms are composed of a variety of mixed metals.]

but i happen to like air better when it's hot

[He does enjoy the rush he feels from walking through fires of his own creation. Rex's skin can and does burn, but only at exceedingly high temperatures. Anything less, he wouldn't even be resistant to the blowback from his own explosions, and therefore a completely useless tool. The insurmountable expense of taxpayer dollars and endowment grants that went into the research behind his enhancements would have been a huge waste.

Rex doesn't sit around and think about it, but he's lucky he clearly wasn't the first prototype.]

[unrepentant]

I already know I'm going to regret asking

But how much of you is titanium?

[himbomb]

[Unaccustomed to being specifically probed regarding his corporeal make-up, he's just going to deflect now-]

Not my dick, that's for sure!

[Also because Anakin of all people does not need to know that once upon a time, Rex was just an ordinary human being with great athletic prowess and a knack for stealing things.]

You really want the specifics? It gets messy. 🤢 🤮

[unrepentant]

[Rex you literally started it!!!]

Don't worry prying isn't my style. It's just


How'd it get in there in the first place? Did you get a prosthetic? Plates?

[himbomb]

["Rex You Literally Started It" aka the title of his memoir, which would probably be ghostwritten by Robot since Rex never finished the seventh grade...]

not exactly either of those things, no

[ Rex hasn't discussed the operation with anyone since it happened, not even Eve, and certainly not in detail.]

i had a surgery when i was around thirteen. my body hasn't really been the same since then

it was a good thing, though

it made me stronger

[unrepentant]

Stronger huh?




Did you know that it would?

[himbomb]

yeah

[He can say this with confidence, although at the time he had been afraid. He wept until his eyes were red and his face burned from all the tears. Rex had clung to Radcliffe's giant hands with an iron grip, only letting go when the anesthesia finally overtook him. Even though he'd been reassured that the procedure was likely to be successful, Rex knew that there was a chance he'd never wake up. The thought of dying at that age, before experiencing his first kiss or first love, or really amounting to anything at all...

It had shaken him to the core.]

i did

[unrepentant]

Is that why you did it?

[It's curiosity now that snags in him. Thirteen he said. Is he allowed to think that it's young when Ahsoka had been not much older and leading troops? Demanding that he let her follow him into the war.]

[himbomb]

i'd say yes, but

[He had caught wind of what was really going on and it had cost him. Well, it had cost Radcliffe, mostly. In some ways Rex could say he got off scot free, he had survived to meet the love of his life, and the GDA was able to erase his seemingly infinite number of criminal offenses from his record. In exchange for his service as a fully-fledged, nationally recognized superhero, he would be protected and given refuge from those who wanted him dead.

To be fair, Cecil Steadman owed him big time. If Rex had made good on his orders, the man would not be alive today.]

i don't really think i had a choice in the matter

[unrepentant]

[It licks at him like fire does. I don't really think I had a choice in the matter. Anakin has always heard words like that a little differently. They've always landed with more weight, been more dangerously loaded.]

Sounds like one hell of a thing to get mixed up in at thirteen.

[himbomb]

you're telling me of all people?

[That would be the Understatement of the Century-]

yeah! i know. and the damage that was done as a result of all that? permanent! fucked me up forever, but

if i didn't go through with it i'd be dead or in jail by now, so. them's the motherfucking breaks

[unrepentant]

Wouldn't call that much of a choice

Did someone put you up to it? Is that happening to other people?

[himbomb]

look, pal

[Rex could tell him the whole story. How he was the first prototype of his kind to have survived the operation successfully. Eve was from another similar set of experiments, the whole lot of them designed to serve as super-weapons against one another. Duking it out for a bunch of disgusting tightwads in suits, the real supervillains of their universe.]

i was hungry, my parents were shit, and i was tired of being tired
what loser thirteen year old with no future and no friends would say no to a fucking boost? not me! that's for sure

[What thirteen year old boy, tired of being unloved and overlooked, would ever say no to being a superhero?]

the guys before me were duds, so they're dead now
they were outta the picture before i showed up
the fuckwad who scouted me messed with my head and made me think what i was doing was normal. necessary, even
he didn't count on me being smart enough to figure it out
joke's on him- i know killing's a part of the protection game, i'm not stupid
but i'm no murderer
not anymore